Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:I was 35 years old the first time I spoke up to my mother and refused to buy into her games and manipulation. . .I didn't have to start an argument. But I could say what I wanted and needed to say to take care of myself. I learned I could love and honor myself, and still care about my mother - the way I wanted to - the way she wanted me to.--AnonymousWho knows better how to push our buttons than family members? Who, besides family members, do we give such power? No matter how long we or our family members have been recovering, relationships with family members can be provocative. One telephone conversation can put us in an emotional and psychological tailspin that lasts for hours or days. The process of detaching in love from family members can take years. So can the process of learning how to react in a more effective way. We cannot control what they do or try to do, but we can gain some sense of control over how we choose to react. Stop trying to make them act or treat us any differently. Unhook from their system by refusing to try to change or influence them. Their patterns, particularly their patterns with us, are their issues. How we react, or allow these patterns to influence us, is our issue. How we take care of ourselves is our issue. We can take care of ourselves with family members without feeling guilty. We can learn to be assertive with family members without being aggressive. We can set the boundaries we need and want to set with family members without being disloyal to the family. We can learn to love our family without forfeiting love and respect for ourselves.Today, help me start practicing self-care with family members. Help me know that I do not have to allow their issues to control my life, my day, or my feelings. Help me know its okay to have all my feelings about family members, without guilt or shame. You are reading from the book: The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie The Language of Letting Go © 1990 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden. Online daily inspirationsRead a Thought for the Day from six of our most popular daily meditations books. They're posted online, every day, at hazeldenbettyford.org. Are you or a loved one struggling with alcohol or other drugs? Help starts here. Call us at: 1-866-755-3221 Managing your email subscriptions Have an account on hazelden.org? Sign in now to manage your preferences. Can't sign in? Send us an email to Change your email address. Unsubscribe from Today's Gift. Stop all Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation email. To send us feedback, please email todaysgift@hazeldenbettyford.org Hazelden Betty Ford Foundtion, 15251 Pleasant Valley Rd., P.O. Box 11, RW3, Center City, MN 55012-0011, 1-866-755-3221 Please feel free to forward this email to a friend.
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