Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is: Un-abling It is not helping my child if I do things for him that he can (and should) do for himself. Instead, by diminishing expectations, I diminish his capabilities. I am un-abling. Un-abling means that I am helping to make the son I am "helping" unable to manage his task--or his life--on his own. It is crossing boundaries, reducing responsibilities, removing consequences, and cheating him of things adults need to learn in order to live (and love) life on their own. It's providing an escape hatch from the realities of life. So, I will not give in, hand out, set up, or fix up my child's messes and catastrophes until I am, inevitably, unable to enable. (Or unwilling. Or burned out.) I will not help to leave my child so un-abled that he is unable to handle the business of running whatever is left of his life--after he's endured a lifetime of my un-abling. (What happens to my child if he never learns how to rescue himself?) All I can (and should) do is help him to get the help he needs to help himself. That, and love him. If he sneezes, I'm not the one who should leap for a tissue. And I'm not the one who should want to. You are reading from the book: Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson Tending Dandelions © 2017 by Sandra Swenson. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden. Online daily inspirationsRead a Thought for the Day from six of our most popular daily meditations books. They're posted online, every day, at hazeldenbettyford.org. Are you or a loved one struggling with alcohol or other drugs? Help starts here. Call us at: 1-866-755-3221 Managing your email subscriptions Have an account on hazelden.org? Sign in now to manage your preferences. Can't sign in? Send us an email to Change your email address. Unsubscribe from Today's Gift. Stop all Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation email. To send us feedback, please email todaysgift@hazeldenbettyford.org Hazelden Betty Ford Foundtion, 15251 Pleaant Valley Rd., P.O. Box 11, RW3, Center City, MN 55012-0011, 1-866-755-3221 Please feel free to forward this email to a friend.
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